Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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