I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
