I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
