this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
