"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
