worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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