Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Randomize
