Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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