You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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