i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
