so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
