I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
