He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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