Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
