is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
