Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
