Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
