Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday

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(631): View more from New York

She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.

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(754): View more from Florida

you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+41): View more from Switzerland

my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED

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(585): View more from New York

Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up

(1-585): View more from New York

Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit

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(315): View more from New York

After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine

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(941): View more from Florida

I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Why is there a whip in the kitchen?

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