If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard