at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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