wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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