do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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