You're my little dorito
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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