She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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