i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
