we have officially lost it.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i permit you to call me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
