I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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