take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
