Sry I called you an 8
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
