well you can't waste a boner
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
