please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
