Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My dick has a subreddit
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize