I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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