My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
