It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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