I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
