that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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