A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
