Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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