you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize