U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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