I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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