Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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