your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize