i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
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All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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