My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
