He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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