Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
youre lurking in front of me
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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