sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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