they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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