Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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