Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
