I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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