Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
