Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
