I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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