Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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