based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
