dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
