Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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